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I love you. I am listening.

"Dear Journal,

I just did a powerful meditation where the aim was to be with myself fully while saying these words - 'I love you. I am listening." And what I heard was a crying teenage girl that wanted and needed some love and comfort. To feel Safe and Supported. To feel Heard.

I held her in my presence and kept telling her "I love you. I love you. I love you."

Then came the judging self. The critic. The one that places all the judgement on the other selves. I told it 'I love you' and realized that I didn't actually know how to love that part of me. I asked for help from my guides and what I saw was that the critic in me is the part that Needs Love the Most. It feels like it can only get love when it is perfect. That is why it judges the other selves. Once I saw that, I was able to hold it's hands and say 'I love you. You do not need to be perfect. I got you. I got all of us.'

I then tuned into my body further and felt tension in my shoulders. It was big, rigid, square weight. The colour was vibrant blue. I asked it what it wanted to tell me. It said it was there because I have not been expressing my truth into the world. I've been suppressing my voice for the fear of judgement. I'm carrying this weight on me for a long time now. It is rigid because I have to filter my expression depending on who I'm talking to. It also seemed to have a lot of unexpressed Rage. It told me I needed to start releasing these emotions into a journal, that this process will get the energy moving and the weight will soften. And so I write..."

April 24/2019

Beautiful memories of my journey as I continue embracing all parts of myself. Since that time, I had plenty of time to write, to feel and express Rage, and to continue saying these powerful words to myself as often as possible - I love you. I am listening.

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