Having the capacity to feel such great joy and happiness leaves you with the capacity to also feel the opposite of that - powerlessness, despair, inability to move or see the world in bright colours. I've been battling these states once in a while while adjusting to the new life, when the challenges keep piling up one after the other, when the dirty process of renovations speaks to my clean freak and makes it go crazy, when the impulse is to run away for the day, but you can't do that. In those moments it's unclear what really is the best course of action - pumping yourself up, sinking into the feelings, moving, doing things and getting your mind of the anxious thoughts, taking a break, talking to a friend. Different things work at different times, but the time always feels soooo freaking slow and the urge to feel better so strong, that I'm still really learning to feel those emotions fully and live through them. I've been learning this process over the past few years, and yet, still, every time they come again, the aversion is incredible. I also never know whether to share those moments of struggle with the world, as I often feel the world (a.k.a. the people) is not really accepting of anything other than positive/inspiring/lovely/etc. Emotional validation is a skill that needs to be learnt and practiced and unfortunately many don't know what that even means. Anyways, this post is about sharing not only the higher states of being with the world, but also the shitty ones. Life has a sense of humour and I'm learning to understand that too. To all who are feeling down today, you are not alone.
I love seeing old pics of me as a kid. Reminds me of how awesome my inner child is.